Available now on Amazon! US / UK / AU
Viewing posts categorised under: Stickman's Log

God Save the Queen

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Uncle Desmond wants to enter ‘Oak Town’s Got Talent’, and Aunt Mabel has threatened divorce if he does. She has told him that if he parps one note of ‘God Save the Queen’ in front of the town, that’s it! I’m still amazed at how he does it. He has sworn me to secrecy – but apparently a diet of veggie lasagne and leek and potato soup are instrumental (literally) in achieving the right ‘notes’.

Finding My Roots Begins!

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Started filming ‘Finding My Roots’. Discovered great grandfather Plank joined up when he was only fifteen, having convinced the authorities that he was eighteen.  I was so excited to be in front of the camera that I have since realised, with the benefit of hindsight, that the director was trying to calm me down when he told me how he lost his own grandfather at Frescos. Caught up in the thrill of the studio lights, I replied jovially, “That was careless!” Turns out his grandfather was involved in the infamous ‘Frescos Freshly Baked Baguettes Pallet Incident’ of ’86, where 11 sticks lost their lives. Am utterly mortified.

Poor Old Uncle Desmond…

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Uncle Desmond is back in the doghouse. He was so inspired by the parkour videos we watched, that yesterday, on returning home from doing the weekly shopping with Aunt Mabel, he suddenly attempted to speed vault over their garden wall. Apparently he made it over the wall and it was just a mis-timed landing roll that let him down. Unfortunately Uncle now has two fractured ribs, a severely sprained ankle and a furious Aunt Mabel has had to cancel their Scottish Highlands Walking Tour. At 68 you’ve got to admire his spirit and I’m sure he would have been alright if he hadn’t been holding three pounds of sausages, a cabbage and two parsnips when he landed. Shall visit tomorrow.

Crazy Parkour!

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Spent the evening watching parkour videos with Uncle Desmond. Unbelievable! Was thinking of changing my talent for Oak Town’s Got Talent to parkour – but Uncle reckons there isn’t enough time to train for it. Head’s feeling better – but am wondering if I should alter my routine. I think I’ve got the wrong shaped head for spinning on. Still can’t get over parkour – running up walls, bouncing off buildings – blinding stuff!

Training Hurts!

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Doctor Privett has confined me to bed for two days. Was practising my break dance routine for Oak Town’s Got Talent 2014, and was attempting to swivel on my head. Next thing I knew, Aunt Mabel was asking me to ‘stay with her’ as I lapsed in and out of consciousness. Vaguely aware of Uncle Desmond cursing the fact he couldn’t find his phone to call the doctor. Apparently I have severe concussion. Such is the precariousness of the entertainer’s life.

It’s a Wonderful Life

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Albert watched ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and is now wondering if I’m his guardian stick? That’s a lot of responsibility to put on one stick. I like the idea though. Maybe that’s what true friends are – ‘guardians’ of each other?

What a Day!

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Beautiful day today! Not a cloud in the sky. Got Uncle Desmond great app for his phone. Should mean he never forgets where he has put his keys again. Aunt Mabel very excited as Uncle is always blaming her when he loses them. It’s very clever – no idea how it works! You take a picture of your keys, sync your voice and then simply call out ‘keys’ and the phone starts beeping faster the closer you get to them. We were going to demonstrate it to Aunt Mabel, but unfortunately Uncle has since forgotten where he’s put his phone.

Invention Time

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Inventions I hope to see in my lifetime: Smell o’ Vision – a TV that emits the smells of the programme it is showing Invisibility Remote controlled, wind resistant umbrellas

Oak Town’s Got Talent 2014!

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Have to decide what my talent is going to be in Oak Town’s Got Talent 2014. Tossing up between tap dancing on ice and break dancing. Has to be something spectacular as Giles Sprout has been working on his mind-bending illusion involving Rufus, the Moon and a set of spoons.

Master Magician’s Guild

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Applied to become a member of the Master Magician’s Guild last month. Very excited to receive acceptance certificate and welcome pack today. Pack includes authentic wand, top hat, performance moustache and invisible dove, the last of which appears to be missing.