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Bizarre Dream?!

by Stickman 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Bizarre dream last night. Albert. Archie and I were stuck in the cone of an enormous soft scoop ice cream. As we were attempting to make a hole in the base in order to get out, Mrs Havers turned up and demanded the ice cream seller tell her all the prime numbers up to 100. As we listened, hardly daring to breathe, Archie suddenly sneezed, sending the chocolate flake in our soft scoop flying and giving away our hiding place. As the ice cream seller desperately tried to remember his prime numbers, sensing his life depended on it, Mrs Havers began to transform. With the ice cream rapidly melting, we were left revealed, trapped and defenceless in the cone’s hollow wafer. Just as a dark shadow fell over us and all seemed lost, I woke up, drenched in sweat.

Darts Night!

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Stickman's Log

Darts night was a great success. Uncle Desmond and I won the doubles, despite Uncle being hindered by an eye patch. Aunt Mabel said she had no sympathy for Uncle after she came home to find him attempting to spin her Royal Boulton dishes on a twirling rod, balanced atop his forehead. Uncle is adamant he had things under control, and it was only Aunt Mabel’s unexpected early return from Friday night Bingo, that led him to lose his focus. Ironically his black eye didn’t result from the dislodged rotating rod, but from Aunt Mabel’s right hand as she dived to rescue her dinner set.

Drone Interruption…

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Stickman's Log

Uncle Desmond and I attempted to move the drone back to his garage under the cover of darkness. However, we were nearly caught out by Giles, who was out late UFO spotting. We had to abort the mission and return it to mine. Must move it by Saturday as it’s my turn to host Oak Town’s monthly darts’ challenge.

Master Magician’s Guild: The New Trick…

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Stickman's Log

Have spent the day attempting my latest trick from the Master Magician’s Guild. Parcel arrived yesterday, containing one rubber chicken, one stuffed koala (cuddly toy – not a real koala), one plastic goldfish and three balloons. By the end, the chicken, the koala and the goldfish should magically appear inside the three balloons. So far I have managed to pop all the balloons, while the rubber chicken somehow ended up in Clive’s tank, who was as surprised as I was! I shall have to buy some more balloons. Going to have an early night. Dinner at the Sprouts tomorrow. Bound to be a late one and Giles will no doubt want to discuss his alien encounter.

The UFO Truth…

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Stickman's Log

Uncle Desmond has sworn me to secrecy as the hysteria over the apparent UFO sighting continues. Seems Uncle bought himself (without telling Aunt Mabel) a state of the art, luminous drone, which he test flew four nights ago. The town is in such a mood of excitement, Uncle feels unable to come clean. I think the fact that Aunt Mabel had previously expressly forbidden Uncle from buying the drone may have something to do with it too. We have agreed to hide the drone in my garage until things calm down. Giles meanwhile has expanded on his original story to reporters, claiming he could just make out the silhouettes of alien life forms within the extraordinary spaceship.

UFO…!

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Stickman's Log

Oak Town’s the talk of the district after Giles Sprout and his Night-time Choral Singers spotted an unidentified flying object. They were just finishing their rehearsal of ‘Walking in the Air’ on the green, when a strange luminous green object hovered ominously above them. Giles apparently tried to make contact, promising peace and goodwill to all alien life forms, and the offer of hot chocolates all round in the Town Hall. However, before Giles and his choir could say anymore the strange aircraft wobbled dramatically, before veering off into the night sky. There was a full report in today’s Oak Town Echo and the country’s top UFO researcher is arriving tomorrow to interview Giles. Needless to say, the whole town has been out this evening trying to get another glimpse of the mysterious object.

“Stick with It”

by Albert Winter 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Sequel to my autobiography is coming on a treat. Very happy with the new title ‘Stick with It’. Am just up to my recount of my foray into the world of jazz ballet. Which will be followed by my attempt to teach synchronised swimming to Oak Town’s resident ducks.

Well Timed Coughs…

by Albert Winter 0 comments

Stickman's Log

Am suffering from an awful attack of trapped wind. My own fault – three bowls of potato and leek soup, followed by a pumpkin and pinenut risotto. What was I thinking? And now I’m off to the cinema with Uncle Desmond to watch ‘Ninja Prairie Dogs in Hawaii’. Fear there’ll be some quiet moments and I’ll be on the edge of my seat trying to stifle the tumultuous rumblings below. Shall have to employ some well-timed coughs. Best get ready.

Frank the Psychic Ferret

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Stickman's Log

What a night! Magical doesn’t come close! Malfonzo the Mysterious was magnificent. Frank the psychic ferret picked out Aunt Mabel and sensed uncannily that Uncle Desmond was in the doghouse. To be honest the odds were high with that one! The Great Gonzolo kept appearing and disappearing in puffs of smoke, while dazzling acrobats twirled and flew through the air. The jumping fleas were spectacular; although Aunt Mabel was worried they might accompany us home. Marvellous night – I am tempted to run away and join the circus! Very tired now. Goodnight world. 

Monday Madness..

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Stickman's Log

Rufus back home. House seems a bit empty without him. Uncle and Aunt bought me a kilo of extra mature cheddar from their walking tour of fine cheeses. Aunt Mabel has forgiven Uncle his karaoke indiscretion. We are all going to the circus tomorrow night. ‘Gonzolo’s Magical Extravaganza’ is back in town. Last year Giles Sprout ended up in a leotard on the high trapeze. The Great Gonzolo had asked for a volunteer, but I think Giles was as surprised as everyone else to find himself in leopard print lycra somersaulting through mid air. Am hoping Malfonzo the Mysterious will be back with his psychic ferret Frank.